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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24264799">sacred new beginnings</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflyslove/pseuds/fireflyslove'>fireflyslove</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bottom Crowley (Good Omens), First Time, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Self-Doubt, Wings, psuedometaphysics</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 05:20:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,312</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24264799</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflyslove/pseuds/fireflyslove</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Crowley has doubts, Aziraphale puts them to rest, then they do it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>121</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>sacred new beginnings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Back on my Good Omens bullshit, folks. </p>
<p>Title from Taylor Swift's Cornelia Street.</p>
<p>If anyone wants the second part of this that's running around in my brain, send up a flare.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Crowley had fallen asleep on Aziraphale’s couch after getting spectacularly drunk. He knew this before he opened his eyes. He also knew that he wasn’t on Aziraphale’s couch anymore. He should have had a sofa arm in his back and stiff knees. He cracked his eyes open to see sunlight streaming in through a window. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The room was one he was only passingly familiar with, the bedroom in the small flat above the bookshop. The few times he had seen it, it had been covered floor to ceiling in dangerously teetering piles of books. A pile leaned against the window, proving that even the apocalypse couldn’t change some things. Crowley sat up, shoving his hand through his hair. He was growing it out, and it was just at the annoying length where it constantly got in his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something fell off his shoulders, and he glanced down at his lap. Aziraphale’s coat lay pooled there. Crowley picked it up, bringing it to his nose almost absentmindedly. He sniffed, and there was the smell of himself, cloves-sulfur-and-green-growing-things, but also of Aziraphale, honey-violets-and-petrichor. He was on top of the blankets. Evidently sometime last night, Aziraphale had carried him up here and covered Crowley with his jacket. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A creak of foot on stairs drew Crowley’s attention to the door, and the aroma of hot cocoa followed. Aziraphale entered the room carrying a pair of cups. He was dressed as he usually was, waistcoat and trousers, bow tie and a light blue shirt. But today, his shirtsleeves were rolled up to the elbow. Crowley felt a hot bolt of </span>
  <em>
    <span>something </span>
  </em>
  <span>shoot through him, but he ignored it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good morning!” Aziraphale said. “I trust you slept well?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley nodded, still idly fingering the coat. Aziraphale offered him one of the mugs, an iridescently red-black affair Crowley hadn’t seen before. He took a sip, and nearly spat it out. The cocoa was </span>
  <em>
    <span>spicy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Chili,” Aziraphale said. “It’s all the rage, from what I understand.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s quite… warm,” Crowley said. He took another cautious sop and found that he actually rather liked it. Sweet, but shot through with a biting fierceness. The metaphor wasn’t lost on Crowley. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then, suddenly, it occurred to Crowley in clear simple words he hadn’t internalized before. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They were </span>
  <em>
    <span>free</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Here he was, sitting in Aziraphale’s bed, drinking cocoa, while the world spun on outside, and… nothing was happening. (Well, </span>
  <em>
    <span>something </span>
  </em>
  <span>was happening, but it was of their own doing). </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He glanced up at Aziraphale, the angel’s eyes closed as he enjoyed his drink, and Crowley was struck with an urge to kiss him until his eyes opened again. It wasn’t the first time it had crossed his mind to kiss Aziraphale, but most of those had been at rather inopportune moments. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale’s eyes opened, and he smiled at whatever he saw in Crowley’s expression. It was a soft, open smile, and something deep in Crowley’s self screamed in fear, and his walls came up, shutting whatever it was he had just felt in, where it couldn’t get out and hurt anyone. Aziraphale’s smile faltered, seeing the change in Crowley’s posture, but he recovered quickly. Crowley finished his cocoa quickly, and set the mug down on the bedside table, then got to his feet. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I.. I should go,” he said, and before Aziraphale could say anything, Crowley shot past him, down and out, through the empty bookshop to the street. He was in the Bentley and halfway to his flat before he realized he still had Aziraphale’s coat in his hand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he got home, he stripped off the clothes he had been wearing with a thought and replaced them with new ones before throwing himself down into his throne to brood. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The look of shock on Aziraphale’s face as he had left so abruptly was burned into the front of his thoughts, and Crowley’s eyes burned. They shouldn’t, he shouldn’t be able to cry, but he had been on Earth for a very long time, and had picked up some human habits. He slithered off the throne to the floor, his back against the chair, knees pulled into his chest. The soft bulk of the coat pressed against his thighs, and their mixed scents permeating his senses. He didn’t even consciously recognize his wings’ entrance into the mortal plane until they wrapped themselves around him over his arms, forming a feathered cocoon of sadness. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t know how long he sat like that, in darkness and self pity, until the door to his flat slammed open, jarring the walls, and an extremely irate angel barged in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right,” Aziraphale snapped. “That’s enough of your self pity. I don’t know what your problem is, but we’re going to fix it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley did not unwrap himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Crowley, I’m not going to leave until you talk to me. You can stay there until the end of time and I’ll still be standing here,” Aziraphale said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t want you to ever leave</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Crowley thought. He parted his feathers just enough to look at Aziraphale. “Go away,” he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re all I have,” Aziraphale said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>All I have</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the words chased themselves around in Crowley’s brain. He had thought, just for a second, that Aziraphale might feel the same soul-deep </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but no, Crowley was only—</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was jerked out of his thoughts by Aziraphale’s hands on his lapels, dragging him up and out of his cocoon. The angel pushed him across the floor in what Crowley could only think of as a sudden reversal of their usual roles, until Crowley’s back hit the wall, his wings splayed wide. He considered fighting back for a brief moment, but Aziraphale had put more than his physical strength into this, and Crowley was unwilling to fight him on any plane, never mind the metaphysical one. Aziraphale held him there with hands on his shoulders and a thigh slotted between Crowley’s. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop,” Aziraphale said. “Whatever you’re thinking, </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Crowley… did. His spiral of self-doubt vanished and all he could think about was how blue Aziraphale’s eyes were.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good,” Aziraphale said. “Now, are you going to actually tell me what you’re so tied up about, or will I have to guess?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley glanced at the air over Aziraphale’s head, and considered his options. He didn’t have many, and most of the ones he did have involved hurting Aziraphale, something he was absolutely not going to do. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Six thousand years is a very long time, angel,” Crowley said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It is,” Aziraphale agreed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… fuck,” Crowley said. “Fucking fuck fuck fuck.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale said nothing, but he also didn’t loosen his grip. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve spent the better part of forty centuries not talking about it,” Crowley said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That long?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Probably longer,” Crowley said. “That long to realize it though. Fuck. Fuuuuck.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Would it be easier if I said it first?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dunno.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you, Crowley. And you love me. Do you want me to tell you how I know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can tell?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m an angel,” Aziraphale said. “I’m made of love.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Could’ve fooled me,” Crowley muttered, not really meaning it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve been loved by many beings,” Aziraphale said. “I know what it feels like when someone is in love with me.” He shifted, a change in his weight brought about by the emergence of his own wings, and then Crowley was bathed in Light. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t holy light, that would have killed Crowley outright, but instead, it was Aziraphale’s Grace. The thing that made him an angel, a physical manifestation of God’s love. And God loved even those angels who had fallen. Crowey still carried a spark of Grace deep in him, all demons who had once been angels did, it was the source of their life force. Falling stripped most of it away, but there was just the trace amount left. The Light poured over Crowley, his physical and metaphysical forms, and he felt everything Aziraphale did. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The reflection of his own feelings, Aziraphale’s, a thousand kinds of love overwhelmed him, and Crowley went senseless for a moment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he came to, he was still leaning against the wall, but now Aziraphale was holding him up rather than restraining him. The angel had pulled his Grace back into his physical form, and Crowley was left looking at just the frumpy bookshop keeper he was so used to. His best friend. The being he loved. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Of course he loved Aziraphale. The sun came up in the east, spring always came again, and Crowley loved Aziraphale. Some things were immutable about the fabric of the world. But… the sun came up in the east, spring always came again, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>Aziraphale loved Crowley</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Angel,” Crowley said, breathlessly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Crowley.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please,” Crowley said, voice breaking. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale saw fit to give him mercy and pushed forward, his lips briefly meeting Crowley’s. It had been a very long time since Crowley had kissed anyone, and it took a few tries until their teeth didn’t clack together. How very human of them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley felt the blood rush out of his head and go to his pants, his cock thickening where it was trapped between his thigh and Aziraphale’s. The angel apparently noticed, and pushed his knee just a bit higher and tighter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crowley gasped, and Aziraphale smiled, “Interesting,” he said. “Is this alright with you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“God yes, angel,” Crowley said. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It shouldn’t have surprised Crowley that Aziraphale knew what to do with a partner, the angel was the picture of hedonism, but it still took his breath away when Aziraphale pulled Crowley away from the wall and pushed him toward his bedroom. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Anything you don’t like?” Aziraphale asked, hands already chasing down Crowley’s shirt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No?” Crowley gasped out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good,” Aziraphale said. “If you want to stop at any time, just say so. You’re not going to offend me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought I was supposed to be doing the tempting?” Crowley said, trying for bitter but foiled by Aziraphale’s mouth latching onto his neck and sucking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Trust me, Crowley, you’ve done your fair share of tempting. Those trousers are </span>
  <em>
    <span>blasphemous</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Aziraphale said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Glad you noticed,” Crowley said, and then his knees hit the bed, and Aziraphale gave him a gentle push that sent him sprawling. Cognizant of his wings, Crowley scrambled up the bed until his back was against the pile of pillows that had so politely arranged themselves for him. At some point he had lost his shirt, and Aziraphale was now making excellent time on his trousers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aziraphale leaned back to pull his waistcoat off and Crowley whined at the sudden break in contact. “I’m right here, darling,” Aziraphale said, tracing a hand up Crowley’s side. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sparks skittered over Crowley’s nerves, and suddenly he was very aware that Aziraphale was looming over him. He found he rather quite enjoyed the sensation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We have several options here,” Aziraphale said, tracing shapes into Crowley’s skin. “I know what I’d prefer, but I’d like you to tell me what </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> want.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… want you inside me,” Crowley said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Excellent,” Aziraphale said. “And you’re happy with the ah, arrangement of efforts?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This fits in my trousers better,” Crowley said. “Whatever you want, angel.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Infinite options,” Aziraphale muttered to himself. “Well, perhaps next time. For now…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then he was sucking Crowley’s cock, taking the full length in one go. Crowley gasped, and clutched at the bedsheets. Soon, too soon, a fire began to stoke in Crowley’s belly, and he tapped Aziraphale on the shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m gonna … if you keep doing that,” he said between gasps.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well that is the idea, darling,” Aziraphale said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sentiment,” Crowley said. “Want you… in me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course,” Aziraphale said. He miracled his clothes off, into a neatly folded pile on the chair in the corner. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One nice thing about being celestial was that there was no need for the sorts of preparations humans went through. Instead, one minute Crowley was lying on his back with Aziraphale kneeling above him, and the next he was on his stomach. Aziraphale planted one hand on Crowley’s back, directly between his wings, and pulled Crowley’s hips up with the other. Then, with no other warning, he sank into Crowley, to the hilt in one swift thrust. The stretch didn’t hurt, but it rather took Crowley by surprise, and he gave a full-body twitch. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Crowley?” Aziraphale sounded concerned. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“‘S good, angel,” Crowley said, blurrily. “Reeeeally good.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, good.” Aziraphale punctuated this with a thrust of his hips that drove Crowley into the pile of pillows. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was rather more force than there should have been, given their positions, and Crowley felt the whisper of air over his skin. Aziraphale thrust again, and the bright sparks returned, tracing a line up Crowley’s spine. With the power of his wings behind them, it was like they were sharing one body. Closer than they had been during their body swap, it was, in a metaphysical sense, a joining of two entities. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wheels and eyes and aspects joined, overlaying the raw human nature of their activities, and then Crowley came. It took him by surprise, and every eye on every wheel shot wide open as bright, hot love poured through him. For the second time that day, Crowley became senseless.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He came back to himself seconds later, in his human body, Aziraphale collapsed on top of him, the feathers at the edges of their wings melding together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well then,” Aziraphale said after a minute. “That was… rather lovely.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gonna have to do that again,” Crowley said. “Soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Could go for another round,” Aziraphale agreed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“In a few minutes?” Crowley asked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course,” Aziraphale said. “Not going to leave you, though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Crowley said. “You aren’t, are you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stuck with me, now,” Aziraphale said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Funny, I thought it was the other way ‘round.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Call it mutual?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think we can come to some sort of… arrangement,” Crowley said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He felt Aziraphale’s smile on the back of his neck. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I can be found between angel feathers @fireflyslove</p></blockquote></div></div>
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